​The most wonderful time of the year?
It’s December, the month of very merry, holly jolly, and glad tidings! If that rings
true for you, soak up every bit while also considering that those around you may
be having a very different experience.

The holidays inundate us with pressure to accomplish and endure so much. Oh,
what fun it is! If you’re having a hard time, instead of overcorrecting to full “bah,
humbug!” mode, take a moment to reflect on what is inhibiting your peace. For
some of us:

•  This time is a stark reminder of what’s missing—loved ones who have passed, people who broke our hearts, those too far away to be with us in person… Take great care in granting yourself the space to grieve, rather than ignoring or rejecting your real feelings. Think about how to honor the spirit of what you’re missing by revisiting old traditions or starting new ones.
• Being around others we typically don’t see is a source of great pain. Unwanted opinions, judgments, or questions can make some gatherings far from celebratory events. Identify your boundaries and how to assert them. Choose wisely what you put your energy into, including how—and with whom— you are going to spend your time. 
  
• Our workloads are already too full and expenses so high that it is overwhelming to manage the extra stresses that come this time of year. Ask yourself: What would happen if I simply did less? Or moved a little slower? Remember that if you push yourself beyond your means (physically, emotionally, financially, etc.), you will end up with nothing left to give. 
  
• Seasonal depression sneaks back in to zap us of our energy and send us into moody spirals. SAD (seasonal affective disorder) is a real diagnosis that can be severe and debilitating, warranting support from a professional. Maintain a routine. Make efforts to increase exposure to sunlight/create a well-lit environment at home. Move your body with intention. Ask for help when you need it.

Allow yourself to indulge in what brings you true comfort and joy this month.
Remember that it’s okay if what you want is different than what your family
members, peers, business corporations, or social media influence you to believe
you need.

Heeding the recommendations shared in this blog post isn’t easy, and that’s why
you have (or need) a therapist! Reach out to us at Viewpoint if you or a loved one
is struggling this holiday season. Call 859-442-8439 or visit our “Contact Us”
page at http://www.viewpointpsych.com/contact-us.html.

​Dr. Chelsea Esmeier, PsyD earned her doctorate from Xavier University. She is a licensed clinical psychologist and the Director of Assessment at Viewpoint Psychological Services. She works in the Crestview Hills office and offers a variety of testing and therapy services, including specialization in the impact of technology on wellbeing, self-esteem/body image, anxiety, ADHD, and adolescent development.

While we are entering the “most wonderful time of the year”, the holidays can still be stressful…especially for those experiencing Social Anxiety. Social Anxiety can lead to feeling uncomfortable in social situations, even around family and friends. Below are some strategies to help manage your Social Anxiety (or generalized anxiety) during the holiday season.

1. Paced breathing
Sounds cliché, right? We breathe all the time, how is “paced breathing” any different? Paced breathing is an effective strategy for managing Social Anxiety because it helps us slow down and regulate our breathing, allowing us to calm both our body and mind. To engage in paced breathing, breathe in through your nose (inhale) for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 4 seconds, then breathe out through your nose (exhale) for 6 seconds. Exhaling longer than you inhale helps you slow your breathing and feel more relaxed. When inhaling, try to breathe deep into your belly,
picture inhaling air to fill a balloon in your stomach. Engage in this paced breathing for at least 3-5 minutes to help reduce anxiety. It may be helpful to excuse yourself and go into the bathroom, another room, or step outside to have a few minutes to yourself to use this skill. However, paced breathing is an effective coping strategy that can be used around others, which is great during the holidays!

2. Progressive muscle relaxation
Progressive muscle relaxation is another helpful strategy for calming down your body and mind when experiencing anxiety. One simple way to engage in this skill is to squeeze your hands into fists. Don’t squeeze your fingernails into your palms or squeeze so hard it hurts, just squeeze enough to feel some pressure. Hold the squeezing position for 10 seconds, then release for 10 seconds, and repeat. This
increases blood flow and allows you to focus on a sensation in your body. You can use this strategy with different parts of your body too (shoulders, thighs, etc.). You should also engage in progressive muscle relaxation for a few minutes to experience benefits. You can put your hands under the table to use this strategy which makes it another effective and realistic coping strategy to use when you’re in a social situation!

3. Set and maintain personal boundaries
It’s common to have trouble setting and maintaining boundaries during the holidays. There can be pressure from others, and from yourself to do things you may not really want to do. If you notice this being something that contributes to your Social Anxiety, you can spend some time reflecting on what you want your personal boundaries to be. What feels comfortable for you? What type of behavior would
align with your values? Establishing your boundaries could be deciding how much time you want to spend at a social or family gathering, or which topics you don’t feel comfortable discussing. Next, it’s important to decide how you will respond to maintain these personal boundaries. Will you tell your friends and family that you need to leave at a certain time? Will you politely, but confidently, say that you don’t feel comfortable discussing a certain topic or answering a certain question? Deciding both what your boundaries are and how you will enforce them is important for having a clear plan for social situations. Additionally, take some time to reflect on if you may be avoiding social situations because of your anxiety rather than boundary violations. Think about how your social experience could be different if you utilized paced breathing and progressive muscle relaxation to help reduce your anxiety. While you could be anxious about both social interactions and boundaries, it’s important for you to consider their unique influences on how you feel.

4. Find a therapist you trust
Working with a therapist is a great strategy for learning additional skills and strategies for managing Social Anxiety. Consistently meeting with someone who understands you and your anxiety can help address what’s causing you distress. Although many people experience Social Anxiety, there are still unique aspects of your anxiety that a therapist can help you explore. Try checking with your insurance provider about your options or call the office of therapy providers near you to ask about appointment costs and provider availability. Many Viewpoint Psychological Services providers have expertise in anxiety management. Please contact the Viewpoint office staff to inquire about these services. Call 859-442-8439 or visit our “Contact Us” page on our website.

You may also want to check out our latest online option: a self-paced video series using CBT to help reduce anxiety: Navigating a Stressful World: CBT for Anxiety. 
This is an online self help series is designed by our very own Laura Hensley, LPCC! Using short videos and downloadable worksheet pages, Laura guides you though learning and applying CBT strategies to help reduce your anxious thinking. (Use Promo Code VPSWEBVIP for $100 off!!).

Viewpoint Psychological Services wishes you a safe and happy holiday season!

 5 Helpful Tips for Adults With ADHD
Adults with ADHD can experience difficulties in many important aspects of living. Tasks such as remembering to send an important work email, or finding your car keys, can be extra challenging. Below is a list of 5 helpful strategies for adults living with ADHD.
 
1. Determine the best form of treatment for you
An important first step in managing symptoms of ADHD is finding the right form of treatment. The specifics can look different depending on the person, but therapy and medication are the best places to start!
 
Contact your insurance provider to determine which healthcare professionals are included in your plan. If you don’t have insurance coverage, or even if you do, contacting healthcare offices and asking about appointment costs and availability is a good way to learn about your options.
 
2. Maintain a consistent schedule
Sounds simple, right? But maintaining a consistent schedule can be very challenging for someone with ADHD. Whether you become distracted by other tasks, or just can’t focus on what you’re doing, setting a consistent schedule and sticking to it can help with making sure you get things done.
 
Part of maintaining a consistent schedule can be writing a “to-do” list and checking tasks off as you complete them. But, make sure you look at this list multiple times a day so that it’s effective as a reminder of what needs to be accomplished! Putting the list somewhere you look at often, like by a mirror or where you like to sit on the couch, can ensure you’re seeing the list multiple times throughout the day.
 
3. Clear out your space
Decluttering a space may not always be how you want to spend your time but keeping your space clear can be very helpful for those with ADHD. Removing extra distractions can allow for more focus on the task at hand. This doesn’t mean throwing out everything you own, just try your best to make sure things are put away where they belong and only have the necessary materials in front of you. If this sounds especially difficult for you, start with spending just 5 minutes a day clearing your space!
 
4. Manage your time
Time management can be a struggle for those with ADHD! One strategy to help with this can be reflecting on how much time it takes you to complete a task. For example, does it take 20 minutes or 60 minutes to wash the dishes? How long should it really take to complete this task without any distractions?
 
After determining how long it takes to complete tasks, you can set a reminder on your phone to prompt you when you should be finishing a task. This may take some getting used to, but this routine can be helpful with keeping track of time and knowing when to move on to something else.
 
You can also “chunk” your time when conquering larger tasks. This means that you break down a task into smaller “chunks” of time. For example, if you know that you have a project that may take 3 hours to complete, it could be helpful to plan to work on the task in 3 separate 1-hour “chunks”, rather than working for 3 hours straight and becoming distracted. Plan out specific periods of time to work, then plan to give yourself at least a 5-minute break before working again. That way, you can balance being productive while also giving yourself time to rest!
 
5. Play to your strengths!
Navigating ADHD can be hard! But everyone has strengths that help make them unique. Take some time to reflect on your own strengths and how you work best. Do you like to take a creative approach to your time management strategies? Is watching your favorite tv show a motivating reward to get things done when “chunking” your time? Utilizing what you’re good at or what you enjoy are great strategies for approaching aspects of living that may be more challenging!
 

Additional ADHD resources
Viewpoint Psychological Services offers ADHD evaluations, therapy for individuals diagnosed with ADHD and related issues, and an upcoming "boot camp" class for adults with ADHD who are interested in learning strategies to better manage their symptoms. We also offer a free 10-day email series with daily tips. Please contact the Viewpoint office staff to inquire about any of these services. Call 859-442-8439 or visit our “Contact Us” page at http://www.viewpointpsych.com/contact-us.html
 
Check out these other options for more ADHD information and resources
1. ADHD Adults: https://www.additudemag.com/category/manage-adhd-life/
2. Helpful Resources for Adults with ADHD: https://add.org/helpful-resources-for-adults-with-adhd/
3. Books and Related Resources: http://www.viewpointpsych.com/resources1.html

​In October 1988, President Reagan declared the month of October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month.  He went on to state, "When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan.  When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower.  When parents lose their child, there isn't a word to describe them.  This month recognizes the loss so many parents experience across the United States and around the world."

Perinatal loss, the death of a child before or after birth, is often considered an 'ambiguous loss'; a loss that may not be concrete or recognized as a traditional death.  Ambiguous losses can occur without a sense of closure.  Individuals affected by perinatal loss often grieve for the future and what could have been.  They may have given their child a name, an identity, a future and what is left only exists in their mind.  Those experiencing perinatal loss may question the validity of their grief due to a lack of social validation.  However, to the individuals who experience them, perinatal losses are very real and may have lasting effects.

It can be difficult for someone who has never experienced this type of loss to understand the impact it has on those affected.  Individuals impacted by perinatal loss often report that well-meaning family and friends say hurtful things in attempt to comfort them.  Statements such as, "It was for the best", "You can always have another", and "It's a very common experience" may sound supportive to the people expressing those sentiments, but may minimize the grief reactions of those affected.  It may feel more supportive to convey messages such as "I'm here for you, "I'm sorry for your loss", "I'm thinking of you" or to simply listen.  If those impacted by perinatal loss have named their baby, ask if it is okay to use their child's name, as some families find comfort in openly speaking of their loved one.  

Grief is a natural reaction to perinatal loss.  Complicated grief, also known as persistent complex bereavement disorder, can occur when individuals experience intense, chronic emotions surrounding the experience of loss and have difficulty resuming their day-to-day lives well beyond the death or loss.  It is a chronic form of grief that can lead to dysfunctional behaviors and irrational thoughts.  In some cases, complicated grief can evolve into depression that may require treatment.  If you or a loved one is experiencing a form of complicated grief, it may be time to seek help.    

Pregnancy and infant loss are very real losses.  If you are struggling to cope with such a loss, please know that support exists.  If you would like to learn more about how individual therapy could help in processing thoughts and feelings about your loss, please contact Viewpoint Psychological Services at (859) 442-8439.